Your network is your net worth? It might be that some women get the heebie- jeebies when reading this for two reasons:
- For many women, networking has a cold formal tone about literally utilizing or exploiting a social ties
- Many women feel they can’t contribute enough to the network or feel shy to even show up
My driver to networking is my urge to help people grow and succeed
My ultimate skill until today is to see opportunities and try to realize them. Initiating projects, partnerships, seeing improvements and driving progress- that’s what I would define as overarching topics throughout my career. Yet, even stronger, is my sincere mission to create synergies and connect people who can mean something to each other.
I’m wondering if you have ever thought about your personal mission or overarching theme?
When working in higher education, my goal has always been to find synergies and connect people. Students to companies, colleagues to colleagues, basically creating meaningful connections across the globe, from China to the Netherlands, the States to India, across Europe or South-East Asia.
Now, as owner and partner of multiple companies, I still follow that road: I love to connect people.
Networking means to invest first before you can harvest
This was the first lesson taught to me in my early career. I was fortunate to meet a local entrepreneur who mentored me. At one stage I asked him why he would invest so much time and that was his answer. I never forgot.
Networking is no one- way street. It can work for a time but at some stage a feeling of mutual benefit needs to exist. It can be a referral or a feeling you get when you’re around that someone, it doesn’t matter. But a positive flow and exchange must be a given for long- term connections.
At this stage we as women need to bust or narrative and realize that we actually have something to offer! And that it is totally okay to take! It’s so much fun!
Why is it so hard for women to show up?
In my career I witnessed, often for male and females, that natural networking is not a given skill and MINDSET everyone possesses. The reasons for that are varied.
- No sense of urgency: Why should I do this
- No guts: what do I have to offer?
- No time: I’m already so busy, I don’t have time for it
- No interest: There’s nothing for me to get out of it
Women are challenged differently
With women I witnessed that there’re obstacles in investing in their network- inside and outside their organization. An article published in Forbes summarizes six barriers keeping women from high power networking:
- Prioritizing People over power: Women often prioritize the social aspect of networking, opting for interesting or likable connections over powerful or senior figures, leading to a preference for peers or lower-level employees.
- Confidence Hurdle: Successful women executives exhibit hesitancy in networking due to self-doubt, unlike their confident male counterparts who readily advertise their achievements.
- Discomfort with Exploitative Nature: Women resist networking solely for self-advancement, finding it disingenuous. They emphasize building authentic relationships over instrumental motives for career gain.
- Childcare Hindrance: Balancing childcare responsibilities limits women's participation in networking opportunities, especially those scheduled during evenings or weekends, impacting their career growth.
- Exclusion from stereotypically male activities: in some countries networking is still done in an “old boys network style”, not attractive and comfortable to women
- Bird from the same feather flock together: People like to interact with people who are similar to ourselves; it feels save, known and serves as a confirmation for ourselves.
“It’s the women’s fault if they go to bed so early”
That is what I have heard from a German Sales Manager of a multinational company not too long ago. Welcome year 2024!
“Women always go to bed quite early during conferences. Sometimes they would come for a drink to the bar, but when the “real connections” are made, when it’s getting casual and (male) jokes are being made, women usually excuse themselves and go to bed. No wonder they’re missing out on information and relationship building”.
Of course, I took out my imaginary notebook and saved this story, well, until now to tell. 😁
Overcoming the Challenges: A Call to Action
I think one of the pillars of diversity, equity and inclusion policies within corporates should be to acknowledge that a one size fits all training on networking is not what their female network needs. As stated, females do encounter unique challenges, not only regarding their own perception and networking behavior but also in external factors.
Confidence-building initiatives, mentorship programs, and flexible networking schedules tailored to accommodate family responsibilities can bridge the gap.
You’re accountable for your narrative- be that one bringing value. Bust that negative self-talk, you have authority.